It isn't just about this year, this virus, or this moment. As a Happy Rebel, 2020 isn't our enemy and Covid isn't either. The rebellion we need is one of our minds bucking against the system and the things that hold us back. Starting with our own minds, of course, since that's the one thing in life we have any control over.
Life can always "happen" and hit us unexpectedly, it's what we do about it that matters. Now, that isn't to say that we spend no time grieving or mourning the loss of something, even the loss of "life as we know it." In fact, we should be grieving those losses, whether they are real and tangible or ambiguous.
The process of grief is letting go of what we don't need to carry and holding tight to the parts we aren't finished with yet. This could be memories of people we shared our hearts with or even the experience of seeing smiles as you walk down the street, now replaced with masked faces and averted eyes.
Holding grief and sitting with those feelings of loss are their own special kind of rebellion. In our culture where things move so quickly and news cycles constantly update us of changes across the world, we so rarely have the opportunity, the gift even, to just be with our losses.
2020 has been a year of loss for so many and a year of changes for all of us. But it's given so much as well, if your life has looked anything like mine has. It's given me the gift of seeing my daughter's life more closely, in school and out (for months and months and months now...). It's given me a chance to be home, not traveling, and just be settled after years of traveling multiple times each month for work.
Don't get me wrong, I do miss the travel at times, exploring new or familiar places outside of my home and city. I also miss the freedom of stretching out on a hotel bed or using a face mask (the skincare kind), simply because I'm alone in a hotel with nowhere else to go for the night. One thing I've spent time mourning over the last 6+ months is aloneness. It's hard to find space for one's self when oyu don't leave the house for days, weeks, or months.
In all of this, I'm choosing to balance our the grief and the mourning, the losses and change, with a curiosity about what's left. If we only have ourselves, a few close friends, or our immediate family; what do we add or take away from that equation?
This time has given to us as well. It's given me a chance to really examine what I want in my life: my f*ck yes's and my hell no's. And isn't that the greatest rebellion of all? To hold one's own lines in the sand? To say "yes" and "no" freely and without baggage or fear? To look at the way the world was and say, "No. I'm doing this my own way."
The knowledge that we can ask for what we need and get rid of what isn't serving us.
That's what been my own personal rebellion during this pandemic, Happy Rebel. Finding a way to break outside comfortable and easy to make room for growth and curiosity.
What have you taken back for yourself during this time?
Stay Rebellious, Happy Rebels.